Jesus speaks

According to this article, Toys for Tots is now accepting talking Jesus dolls for this year's toy drive.  Before I go further, I know you're thinking, "Oh boy!  It's another Blog O'Scorn entry!"  Sorry to disappoint, its not.  Ha!  As much as I'd think about raving about giving a religiously centered gift, Toys for Tots has done wonderful things, and I'm not against organized religion existing, only as it relates to me.  Many religious organizations have done wonderful things around the world, and Christmas is after all, kinda for Jesus, isn't it?

What's this post all about then?

The potential for mischief.  Having read for some time many articles in both the news and hobbyist sites like Make (a web zine dedicated to the home hacker, no not computer hacker in the bad sense, hacker in the sense of "How does ~that~ work?"), all I can see in a talking doll is the prospect of someone buying several of the dolls, reverse-engineering them, and inserting what would "at the time" seem to be very humorous new phrases.  Imagine a very Ned Flandersy house opening up a Jesus doll on Christmas morning, pushing his back (or whatever), and having him say something ~really~ offensive.  I mean, you could put all kinds of statements in there, from sexual innuendo (or outright crude things), religious bigotry (in several different directions including anti-teachings of Cathol, anti-Semitism, etc), to completely off the wall things like "Jesus wants you to kill mommy and daddy.", "Jesus says you can have all the candy you want.", "Stop touching yourself!", "Repent or BURN!",  truly I could go on for at least another 50-100 lines EASY, but I will spare you the rest of my disturbed humor for the moment.  (If you have some good ones, feel free to comment.)

I'm not suggesting that this is a good idea, or that anyone should do it.  I would hate to think even for a second that ruining Christmas for a child who's already had a bum year was my fault.  You gotta be pretty low on the totem pole of life to pull that kind of prank, but I still think there are people out there that would do it, if they thought they could do it anonymously.  Now, this is not to say, that I would want to give these to friends that had enough of a sense of humor as to actually find it funny.

*grin*