Most embarrassing moment (at the time)

This is the first of the "suggest a topic/title" test.

[Scooby Doo flashback music]
I was a weee lad of let's say 4ish (I think it might have actually been younger.. but specific age is mostly irrelevant). I was in the Skaggs Grocery store (they later became Albertson's, Jewel Osco, and I have no idea what they are now...) around the corner from my home in Fort Worth, TX. Just me and mother. It's a simple enough story, I wanted a piece of Super Bubble** bubble gum. This was back when each piece was still a penny (I can hear JamesF doing his curmudgeony old guy voice now, "In ~my~ day, gum was only a PENNY! Not that we had pennies.. *mumble* *murmur* zzzzzzz" ). I loved me some gum, lemme tell ya, I can even remember when they had 3 flavors out - regular, green apple, and grape. I never really have cared much for artificial grape flavored anything, but never mind that now.
So there I was wanting gum, and mother was busily shopping away, so I helped myself to a piece or two. Being so busy, she didn't notice me happily chewing away until we were out in the parking lot. Now, for those that know me, silence in my vicinity is rare and usually indicative of a problem or an evil plot. It's true now, and it was even more so then, why mother (if you're wondering why I call her that, it's what she wanted to be called, I always felt it sounded creepy. Far worse than "Mommie Dearest", although that's probably a more apt description...) didn't notice, I don't know. Well when she finally DID notice, you'd have thought I shot the Pope. I think this might have been the first time she swore directly at me. I was sure that the entire parking lot could hear (mainly because they ALL whipped heads around to see what the commotion was) and maybe even some people across the street. But the public redress was only the beginning. After securing the groceries (rapidly wilting in the hot TX summer sun) into the Volare (ours was white if I recall) she promptly began marching me inside. I'd say drag more than march really, hard to keep up when your elbow is above your head and being pulled at twice your normal pace in front of you. So mother blows in the doors, and proceeds directly to the service counter (keep in mind she's yelling all this time, punctuating her words with every other step or so). Instead of just having me apologize and give them the two pennies I've cheated them, she loudly insists on seeing the store manager, or the owner if they are around. After some scrambling about amid aisles and checkout lanes full of onlookers, we are ushered into the back room upstairs where the floor manager greets us. I offer my best apology and hold out the change mother has given me to pay for the gum. He accepts it and tells me not to ever do this again, and I heartily promise to never ever shoplift (in front of my mother) again. At this point he's done with me (although he was horrified at the whole process from the look on his face), and we are taken back out, where my mother makes me apologize to anyone and everyone there for disrupting them, and/or for stealing. The worst kicker, as we get back to the car... she makes me spit the gum out. Man, crime really doesn't pay.

Or as Aesop would say, "Even if you put your two cents in, you may not get what you want."

There are more stories regarding my utter mortification, and upon reflection they always seem to revolve around mother. What a surprise. I won't give you the nitty gritty details, but a little less than 10 years after the above "incident", she was driving me to middle school (past the same store) when she pulls in, shoves a $20 at me and tells me to go buy her some feminine products. (No. I have no problem with the words or concepts now, thanks to my repeated horrifications on the topic, but some of my male readers would click away at the mere typing of the "T" word.)
So I look at the $20, then back up at her and ask, "Really? Can't you go?".
She answers immediate with, "No, we don't have the time."
"Can I at least get something else too?", I plaintively asked.
"No. Just those. And hurry we're going to be late. RUN!"
Off I scoot into the store, and since she's dragged me along, and informed me waaaaaay too much about this stuff already, I know exactly where I'm going and which box to grab. Back at the register... there's always the look when a teenage boy come to checkout with only those... "Yes, I know what they're for, my mother is waiting in the car outside" *rolling eyes* *looking around*. Yeah... Like I was gonna use them to make Molotov cocktails or something. SHEESH. A little compassion people!!
So maybe not the worst, but man, that's still pretty rough for a just barely a teen.

I would go on, because... well... I have lots more stories of that nature. Let's not forget the argument in the middle of the night (ok it was an accusation for something I did NOT do), that had her drag me out of bed in my underwear (yes, tightie whities) only to stand at attention in the den until I confessed. When I started passing out without a confession, she sent me to bed, but grounded me anyway. At least there was no company that night!

None of this affected me, and I'm just as normal as any of you.
=P

** Corrected my bad entry. I had previously posted that it was Bubble Yum bubble gum, when in fact, it was Super Bubble. The small pieces, this was before they went to the large pieces.