Saturday, September 13, 2008

5 months off

Well when I said this would be not every day... I didn't mean to let five months go with no entries.

First and most disheartening was the loss of my father. He had been having some issues for a while, but was treating them correctly, and certainly appeared to be thriving. In fact I believe the last 10 years of his life were some of the best for him that I can recall, and that at least gives me some peace. I miss him so, some days more than others, but I know he will always be with me. I carry a spark and merriment I learned from him that cannot be extinguished even in the darkest of hours. Thanks Dad, for being there, and showing me other paths to walk on, I only hope I made you as proud of me as I was of you.

Out of that tragic incident, there was some good. I have met with many of my relatives that I had never really known, and will be seeing them shortly in a mini-reunion of sorts. We're all headed up to Rhode Island for a short stint to hang out and get to know each other and catch up on time missed out on. (Even the dogs are getting a chance to take a side road trip with us, and they *might* even get to meet their K9 loving aunt up in Massachusetts!)

My new job is going well, with finally enough tasking to not make the days drag on. Though there is a new door that has opened, that has some interesting potential. Still security work, just a different facet. At the very least it merits some investigation. As a lateral move the money is the same, but the job duties are fairly different. 1 step closer to workin' fer da man. ;-)

Our (not so) young puppy, Viggo, is coming along. Still headstrong, but affable and goofy (sounds like someone I know). Hopefully he will continue to settle in to himself and become the great dog I see inside him.

With all of these events going on, it provides one with perhaps one of the most important things in life - perspective. I've seen throughout my life that one's perspective, their outlook on both their own actions and the events around them, is perhaps the biggest factor in how happy they are. In general, I try to keep myself open to the possibility of opportunities, and I watch for them. Doing my best to prepare for good things that may come along so that I may snatch them up, and enjoy. Alternatively, I try not to let the bad things that happen (to us all), overwhelm me. I try to maintain perspective on the bad events, not letting them grow to encompass more than they rightly should. This does not mean that I ignore them or don't learn from mistakes or bad events, merely that one small localized event does not gain in measure, scope, or duration. Not one bit. So one small, temporary setback on one project does NOT suddenly become impassable roadblocks on all projects for all time. It's merely a speed bump and not a jersey wall. I believe this has led me down many paths that have offered up several good opportunities that I was in a position to take advantage of, as well as being mostly resistant to frustrations that life has to offer. (Ok... ok... ASIDE from bad drivers in traffic, rude children/people, and the OTHER events that have previously made this the Blog O'Scorn. I'm talking about the things aside my mini-rants. Since they truly do not linger, and writing about them is part of my way of ensuring they are not lasting moments of frustration.) So overall I feel happy and blessed for the chances I have both had and explored.

Conversely, I have watched many people travel down a very different road. One of beleaguered days among long lingering setbacks. I have seen a friend take a very minor and very temporary molehill, and turn it into the proverbial mountain, forever withstanding all attempts at conquest. They constantly battle what appears to them to be a relentless barrage of life, which pounds them with the unfettered crashing waves of failure that this life has to offer.

Yet, in a curious dichotomy, many of them seem to expect that life will simply provide them with anything of their choosing, that the simple act of being requires some payment from the universe. Most of these people I have watched, seem to live in a near constant state of disappointment. Which, as for anyone, occurs when what we expect/desire to happen does not, in fact, meet up with what reality presents us. For them, even good fortune can wear the guise of misfortune, or simply go unnoticed. Good events are at best ephemeral bits of happiness that go as unappreciated as a debt already owed to them, at worst the events are assumed to be an omen of something darker just around the corner.

This perspective problem is more complicated than a simple pessimistic vs optimistic view, though there are many similarities. Perhaps the saddest part of the whole affair remains that the individual holds the ability to change that perspective, and to find a way to not only seek, but also enjoy the happiness that seems just out of reach.

I'll close with a few quotes from famous (well more famous than myself and that's easy) folks:

“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.”
--Marcus Aurelius

“The tragic or the humorous is a matter of perspective.”
--Arnold Beisser

"I thank Thee first because I was never robbed before; second, because although they took my purse they did not take my life; third, because although they took my all, it was not much; and fourth because it was I who was robbed, and not I who robbed."
--Matthew Henry

"What we see depends mainly on what we look for."
--John Lubbock


And as Marcus Aurelius says... this is my opinion. This is my perspective.

2 Comments:

At 4:29 PM, Blogger TheDoberwoman said...

I miss your dad and wish that we'd had the chance to visit more and spend more time with him. He was an interesting man and I do have to say that, like it or not (!!!), the apple did not fall far from the tree. :-)

I like the Matthew Henry quote you used. I try to view things from this perspective. Truly, even in bad situations, at the very least, there's always a way of learning something and turning it into a positive.

Perspective... simple in theory, and yet so difficult in practice. All I can say is you can't tell a person any differently if they choose to stick to the glass-half-empty way of living life. For too many people, it's just easier to feel a victim of their circumstances rather than take responsibility for the choices they made that put them on a much more difficult path. Not really sure when this society latched on to the victimization complex as a way of life, but it really seems like there's an absence of personal responsibility for anything anymore. I blame Jerry Springer, Oprah, and Dr. Phil! And it's not my fault!!! :P

 
At 9:14 PM, Blogger Dan said...

Wow, I had never heard the term "Jersey Wall" until I read that, and instantly had to look it up. I never knew that's what those little road barriers were called. Cool!

 

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